Why good enough is better than perfect

Why good enough is better than perfectWhy good enough is better than perfectPerfectionism is not striving for excellence but being impaired byit.My life has been nothing but a failure, perfectionist Claude Monet once said.In 1908, after three years of working on a new series of paintings,Monetfelt many werent up to his standard. It was right before the opening of a new exhibition in Paris.With a knife and a paintbrush, the French artist destroyed 15 of the would-be masterpieces.The exhibition, of course, had to be postponed.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraI know well enough in advance that youll find my paintings perfect. I know that if they are exhibited, theyll be a great success, but I couldnt be more indifferent to it since I know they are bad, Im certain of it. Monet wrote.For a perfectionist, nothing is ever perfect enough.Perfection is an illusion we believe it makes us b etter but actually harms us. Perfectionism is not a standard, but a way of living. The more you try to be perfect, the worse you feel.Perfectionism Wont Make YouPerfectIf you look for perfection, youll never be content.?- LeoTolstoyThe 1908s episode wasnt the first time Monet got rid of his work. The French artist destroyed many paintings before. They were not perfect enough.The psychology of perfectionism is rather complex it has both positive and detrimental effects.Perfectionists strive to produce flawless work. And also have higher levels of motivation and focus than non-perfectionists.Monet refused to paint unless the light of the sun reflected precisely the way he wanted it. His obsession pushed his peak level of performance.Many artists built a reputation for setting their bar way too high. Some destroyed their work out of frustration others, to disavow their early creation.Charles Dickens burned 20 years worth of his letters and papers to hide an affair. Vladimir Nabokov wan ted his work to disappear after his death. John Baldessari cremated some of his early paintings andbaked theminto cookies.So, are inflexible, unattainable high standards the secret to success?Not necessarily.Successful perfectionists are successful in spite of it, not because of it.Thats the main conclusion from research by psychologist Tom Greenspon. As he explains inMoving Past Perfect,If youre worrying more about how you are doing than what you are doing, youll stumble.There are two distinct sub-dimensions of perfectionism.Excellence-seeking perfectionism having a high standard can improve our performance.Failure-avoiding perfectionism,on the other hand, is the fear of making mistakes. The irony is that, without making mistakes, we cannot perfect our work.All perfectionists suffer from detrimental effects regardless if they are seeking excellence or avoiding failure. Their internal voice keeps saying You are not good enough.During his lifetime, Franz Kafka published a handful of shorter works. He gained modest critical attention. Plagued by self-doubt, Kafkaburned a vast amountof his writing.The Czech author is now regarded as one of the major figures of 20th-century literature.Everything disappoints perfectionists. They feel the need to become their harshest judges.Perfectionism has become an epidemic, according to theWorld Health Association. And thats not good news. A record number of people are suffering from severe depression or anxiety disorders.Beating yourself up for mistakes or not meeting expectations creates more disappointment. Perfectionism makes you feel ashamed of who you are.The Illusion of the HighBarWeve turned perfectionism into a badge of honor. But theres nothing to be proud of.Whats your weakness?One of the most common answers to this interview question is, I am a perfectionist. People want to show they are so good that their weakness is the pursuit of excellence.Culturally, we perceive perfectionism as a positive.But, do perfectionist s perform better at work?Thats the question that Laurens Steed, a Miami Universitys professor, asked.The answernot necessarily.Steed and team conducted a meta-analysis of95 studiesspanning four decades. They discovered that perfectionism is a much more significant weakness than most people think.Its assumed that being a perfectionist is a good thing, but our findings fly in the face of what we implicitly thought, said Steed.Perfectionism is an impossible goal. Having a high bar is a moving target. The better you do, the better you are supposed to perform. Perfectionism never gives you a break.Perfectionists approach the world in black and white terms. They hold everyone to unrealistic standards. You either have a high bar, or you are mediocre.But the world is not black and white.There are healthier goals than perfection.Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fa ct, its often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis. Bren BrownAdopting excessively high standards can set yourself for failure. Either they are impossible to meet. Or you achieve them at the expense of your joy.Michael Law wrote, At its root, perfectionism isnt really about a deep love of being meticulous. Its about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.Barba Streisand is a self-declared perfectionist. Her latest album features unreleased songs from past decades. She initially thought they were too flawed. All because each hadoneword she didnt like.Meticulousness is fine. And is sometimes necessary. But, perfectionism can paralyze you.I see this all the time when coaching teams.By trying to avoid mistakes, organizationsfail to launch. Anything short of perfection feels unacceptable. They fear a small mistake could turn into a catastrophe.Perfectionism is theenemy of innovation both at an individual and group level.Stop Trying to PerfectYourselfTheres a difference between striving for excellence and trying to be perfect.Do you love having the last word, putting the finishing touch, or correcting what people do or say? Are you obsessed with trying to find mistakes?Perfectionism can become toxic. Using perfection as a way to measure our self-worth is harmful. It often leads to frustration, self-doubt, and exhaustion. We feel worthless.Perfectionism is not about striving for excellence its a way of being.Experts found that perfectionism has become a way of life. It creates and amplifies mental issues. Perfectionists have a problematic relationship with themselves.As Paul L. Hewitt, from the University of British Columbia, explains, Its not a way of thinking, buta way of beingin the world.For a perfectionist, nothing and no one is ever good enough.Hewitts research shows that perfectionists want more than just perfecting things. They want to perfect their identity.Perfectionists strive for flawlessness they want a perfect outcome or performance. Perfectionists are obsessed with being (perceived as) perfect. They cant admit their own flaws.Perfectionism is the illusion of perfecting the self.The pursuit of perfection makes our lives anything but perfect. It wrecks ourhappiness, relationships, and wellbeing. We neglect our basic needs, like eating and sleeping, just to get work done.Perfectionism is a growing epidemic. Holding irrational standards is the cause of rising stress, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.External pressure socially-prescribed perfectionism is harming our self-esteem. Everyone seems to expect us to be perfect. Our self-worth depends on our achievements.When Georgia OKeeffe approached the end of her life, she wanted to purge her work. The artist destroyed many paintings throughout her career for the same reason. She wanted her reputation to remain strong.As Bren Brown wrote,Healthy striving is self-focused How can I improve? Perfection ism is other-focused What will they think?schauplatz unrealistic high standards is toxic. We feel worthless when we realize we are not flawless. Failure equals to self-defeat.Good enough might be, well,perfectBetter to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.?- Robert H.SchulerIncreased self-awarenessis vital. Realize that perfectionism can impact your work both positively and negatively.Embrace being vulnerable. Accept you will never be perfect. Be kind to yourself. Life is a work in progress.Start by breaking the high-bar/ low-bar dichotomy. Set an achievable bar instead. Challenge yourself without killing yourself.Laurens Steed suggests shifting our mindsetgood enough just might be OK.Learn to stop.You dont need to write a sentence 32 times. At some point, the changes wont move the needle. Too much analysis can actually harm your work.Focus on your wellbeing.Many artists lived tormented lives. Their obsessions left no room for joy. Whats the point of becoming famou s at the expense of your happiness and health?Become comfortable with imperfection.Make mistakes on purpose and dont fix them. This method exposure therapy was developed by Dr. Amy Przeworski. She recommends people to tie their shoes unevenly. Or to leave a comma or a period out of a paper.Whatever your obsession is, disrupt it. A small mistake wont make the whole worthless.Stop comparing to others.Be your own yardstick. Comparing to othersis deceiving. We see whats right with others and whats wrong with ourselves.As Nobel Laureate William Faulkner wrote, Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself. Be curious.When things go wrong, dont attack yourself.Curiosity is the mother of learningand improvement. What can you learn from it?Be flexible.Learn to recognize what is realistically achievable or not. Stop seeing the world in black and white terms. Perseverance, resilience, and flexibility can help you improve your work more than perfectionism will.Set time limits.Use a timer before you start a project. Artificial limits help overcome fear and procrastination. Lorne Michaels, the producer of SNL,famously said, The show doesnt go on because its ready it goes on because its 1130.Strive for your best, not for perfection. Celebrate small wins.Appreciating progressboosts our performance.As Lin Yutang wrote, I have done my best. That is about all the philosophy of living one needs.Trying to be perfect is exhausting. Your life is a work in progress. Enjoy and celebrate both your achievements and your mistakes.Focus on making progress, not perfection. Turn good enough into your new perfect.Gustavo Razzetti is a change instigator who builds cultures thatpush your organization forward not backward. He advises, writes, and speaks on team development and culture transformation.This article first appeared on Medium.